OK–so Following Kimmie has taken me down a new path.
First off I am in a way better space than I was the last time I was here. I stayed in that funk for about 3 days–but then I decided to hand it over to my Higher Power, God, the Divine, the Universe, the Light, Spirit, whatever it is that I believe is up there in charge and permeating the universe we live in. I gave myself 30 days to just essentially pray trying to change my brain patterns and bring in Primary Thinking.
Primary Thinking is when we try to over ride our habitual thought patterns and replace them with more suitable thought patterns in an attempt to create a new energy paradigm in our subconscious being and our reality.
In my case–I am worried and stressed that I have no money–like freaking out worried. Total 1st chakra issue–safety and security. I feel safe enough but not secure at all! I am still actually in the same position–still focused on finding a primary job to bring home the bacon, to pay my mounting debt. So yes I am still freaked out by it. But I have been experimenting with a new thought pattern–which came to me during a meditation moment the day I decided to hand my crap over.
“I have plenty of money, I pay my bills with ease and I buy what I want”
I was gifted with a thought I wanted to be true, one that I could hold onto and repeat out loud or silently whenever the feeling of panic started to set in. I added a nice long beach walk when I practiced, so that the feeling of gratitude, peace and love was present during my practice…that way I was hoping to tie in my new Primary Thought to the emotions of peace and acceptance and gratitude I feel while walking the beach….figuring if I could repeat this to myself over and over again while simultaneously feeling peace then maybe I could actually make an emotional shift and start to truly believe my new thought pattern and then maybe, just maybe, the law of attraction would go to work for me and instead of bringing me more panic over money –maybe it would bring peace about money.
“I have plenty of money, I pay my bills with ease and I buy what I want”–I have repeated this over and over to myself aloud and silently, on the beach, in the car, in the shower, at work, waiting in line, bored at work –basically anytime I find my mind complaining or whining (which disturbingly is quite a bit of the time) I switch to repeating this over and over and over again–The power of repetition to create subconscious change can not be over rated here.
Whenever I did have to pay a bill, RE taxes, car payment, rent, I recognized that I had indeed paid my bill with ease. Reinforcing the sentiment and building belief. Every time I paid a bill, I acknowledged that I had indeed paid it with ease and therefore my belief was true–I had plenty of money and I paid my bills with ease. I just did it, so therefore it was true. Proof.
I also reinforced with acknowledgment and gratitude every time I bought something….as I purchased food, gas, cigarettes, yoga classes etc….I was buying what I wanted–again–reinforcing the statement to my mind, my body, my subconscious and conscious minds. I was indeed, buying what I wanted–my belief was true.
It has been like 27 days and I have repeated this sentiment well over 1000 times I am sure, my kung fu sifu used to say we needed to practice a form 1000 times before muscle memory would take over an make it easy…..
and guess what–5 days ago I was gifted with $1500 to put towards an attorney. I just paid the retainer today.
I am not kidding. I am putting into practice that which I have read about, studied, preached, but not really practiced. In order to fully Follow Kimmie I need to start practicing what I preach. I can’t hardly write a book about saving the world without actually honestly trying to save the world. and at this point–saving the world–starts with saving myself.
Which isn’t to say I am still not freaked out about money–cause I am, I still do not have a job offer and my savings are dwindling quickly–but I am ahead of where I was 27 days ago….and I have another means of coping with the financial worry–instead of worry. I repeat, and repeat and repeat “I have plenty of money, I pay my bills with ease and I buy what I want” until I can feel the energy of safety and security coursing thru my mind, body and soul.
I am actively creating new neural pathways in my brain and my energy flow…In everything I have ever learned about how the universe works–it all starts with us…not so much what we think, but what we feel. The trick, from what I have learned, is to feel–thats where the power lies–when we feel something we emote something, when we emote something, we create something.
I am actively trying to create a thought that creates a certain feeling that then emotes out into the world creating an energetic change which eventually will manifest physically. The stronger our thought, the stronger our feeling, the stronger the emotive energy/creative energy and the stronger the manifestation.
This is one reason why they say Meditation is so powerful, because it trains the mind to focus. The stronger we focus, the stronger the thought, the stronger the feeling, the stronger the energy, the stronger the manifestation.